What To Say At A Wedding Speech: 5 Expert Tips

Apr 30

Fire House KC, a seasoned venue for countless weddings, shares invaluable insights into the art of what to say at a wedding speech. Drawing from our extensive experience, we understand the importance of crafting the perfect words to celebrate the union of two hearts. Whether you're the best man, maid of honor, or a cherished friend, we've witnessed the power of a well-delivered speech and are here to guide you on the journey. Join us as we uncover the secrets to captivating your audience and leaving a lasting impression with your heartfelt words.

How to Deliver a Memorable Wedding Speech

"Merriam-Webster defines love as…" I'm gonna stop you right there. A wedding speech is a delicate dance of humor, sincerity, and sentiment. No, you don't need to be an expert at writing or public speaking, but whatever you say has to be heartfelt and original. The good news is this is likely the easiest crowd you will ever have to speak in front of. This crowd wants to laugh. They want to cry. Even the most canned, corny jokes will usually get a chuckle rolling through the crowd. The room is already on your side. Play to your strengths. If you are a funny person, pepper your speech with jokes. If you aren't comfortable writing jokes, don't force it—it can come across very awkwardly.

Keep in mind that you're not putting on a show, only sharing your personal perspective. Trying too hard to force the funny can yield the opposite of the desired effect. Keeping your speech short and sweet, heartfelt and warm, and coming across as authentic and focused on the couple is something we are all capable of and generates some very wonderful moments.

"You are an incredible friend, a devoted sister, and the most generous person I know." Cute, but boring. How are they an incredible friend? When were they a devoted sister? In what ways are they generous? Be specific. I promise this will make for a much more engaging, heartfelt, and compelling speech. This is a place where anecdotes and stories really shine. Paint a picture of the person you are talking about.

Talk about how and when you met the bride or groom, or how you're related to either one. Reminisce about how you first met them. Tell the audience about your hopes for their future as a couple, and have a positive and optimistic message to deliver about that. And then end with a toast, asking everyone to raise their glass and toast to the wonderful couple.

Since this is a wedding, there is no shame in sincerity. In fact, everyone will be so hopped up on sentimentality after the ceremony that if your speech isn't a little bit sappy, it can come across as cold. When you put your personality into the writing, you'll have a lot more fun. That being said, this isn't a talent show so maybe leave your ukulele at home.

Be Yourself In Your Wedding Speech

Delivering a memorable wedding speech often hinges on one key factor: authenticity. While it's natural to feel pressure to impress the newlyweds and their guests, remember that being yourself is the most powerful tool in your speech-writing arsenal. Here's how to be authentic in what to say at a wedding speech:

1. Connect with the Audience: Authenticity fosters genuine connections with your audience. Instead of trying to fit into a mold or deliver a speech that doesn't resonate with who you are, speak from the heart. Share personal anecdotes and heartfelt sentiments that reflect your relationship with the couple. Don't forget to introduce yourself at the top of your speech. Tell the crowd who you are and your relation to the wedding party.

2. Stay True to Your Style: Every speaker has a unique style and voice. Whether you're naturally witty, sentimental, or somewhere in between, embrace your style and let it shine through in your speech. Avoid imitating others or attempting to be someone you're not. Your authenticity will captivate listeners far more effectively than any scripted performance.

3. Speak from Experience: Draw from your own experiences with the couple to add depth and authenticity to your speech. Share meaningful memories, milestones, and moments that highlight the bond you share with them. Your firsthand perspective will bring a genuine touch to your words and resonate with the newlyweds and guests alike.

4. Embrace Imperfections: Perfection is overrated, especially when it comes to wedding speeches. Embrace your imperfections, nervousness, and quirks as part of what makes you uniquely you. Your authenticity lies not in flawlessness but in your genuine effort to celebrate the couple and express your love and support for them.

5. Be Sincere and Heartfelt: Above all, sincerity is the cornerstone of authenticity. Speak from a place of genuine love, admiration, and sincerity towards the newlyweds. Your heartfelt words will leave a lasting impression and create a truly memorable moment for the couple and everyone in attendance.

Incorporating authenticity into your wedding speech allows you to connect with the couple and their guests on a deeper level. By being yourself, you not only honor your relationship with the couple but also create a meaningful and unforgettable moment that celebrates their love and partnership.

What to Avoid in Your Wedding Speech

Navigating what not to say in a wedding speech can be just as important as knowing what to include. Your speech sets the tone for the celebration and should be filled with love, laughter, and heartfelt sentiments. However, certain topics and remarks have the potential to dampen the mood or cause discomfort among the newlyweds and guests. Here's a guide to help you steer clear of common pitfalls and ensure your speech is a memorable highlight of the day.

Don't Go NC-17

Making people laugh is one of the best ways to win over your audience. Start with a lighthearted joke to get the audience laughing, but avoid raunchy or lowbrow humor that might offend guests. Remember, this is the wedding, not the bachelor party. Remember, a wedding is about two people. Most likely you're closer to one than the other. Don't let this deter you, as there are easy ways to include both parties in your speech. Incorporate what you know about the couple's relationship and the positive attributes of your friend's spouse into your speech for a more well-rounded and inclusive approach.

Don't Make It All About Yourself or One Person

Remember, a wedding is about two people. Most likely you're closer to one than the other. Don't let this deter you, as there are easy ways to include both parties in your speech. Incorporate what you know about the couple's relationship and the positive attributes of your friend's spouse into your speech for a more well-rounded and inclusive approach.

Stay away from inside jokes that the audience would not understand. This will always end up with more confused looks than laughs. Instead, focus on keeping your speech entertaining and accessible to all attendees. By ensuring that your anecdotes and humor are relatable to everyone present, you can create a speech that resonates with the entire audience.

Never Embarrass the Newlyweds

It's a wedding toast, not a roast. While this should go without saying, keep the bachelor or bachelorette party jokes out of it, and remember that Grandma and possibly a few colleagues are in the audience. It's okay to look back at childhood and refer to something funny, but ask yourself if you'd like 200-plus of your closest friends to know that story about you.

Avoid discussing subjects such as past relationships, politics, or making any negative comments about the newlyweds or their families. Keep the tone light and positive to ensure the speech contributes to the celebratory atmosphere of the event.

Preparing and Practicing Your Wedding Speech

The better prepared you are, the more confident you'll be and the better your speech will be. A good rule of thumb is to practice the speech enough that you can remember the points you want to make and the order in which you want to make them. That way, you can look out to the crowd and make eye contact every so often. Preparation is a great way to build your confidence.

Record Yourself Practicing

Rehearsing your speech beforehand is a wise move that can significantly enhance your delivery on the big day. Recording your speech on your smartphone while you practice enables you to listen back and identify areas for improvement, such as pacing, tone, and clarity. You can also practice in front of a mirror, which allows you to observe your body language, facial expressions, and gestures, helping you to appear more confident and composed.

Additionally, delivering your speech to a few trusted friends or family members beforehand provides valuable feedback and allows you to gauge their reactions, ensuring that your message resonates effectively with your audience. Overall, the more you rehearse and refine your speech, the more comfortable and polished you'll feel when it's time to stand up and speak at the wedding.

Use Nerves to Your Advantage

A little nervousness can actually liven up your speech. The trick is to channel that nervous energy into a positive and authentic delivery. By staying true to yourself, your sincerity will shine through in your speech, making it all the more genuine.

Delivering Your Wedding Speech with Confidence

You don't need to be "off book" as they say in the industry but definitely know your speech well enough that you aren't reading off your notebook or phone word for word. Have your notes there as a resource, but your words will be much more powerful if you are connecting with the audience while you talk. Practice alone, time out how long it's taking you, and get comfortable with the material.

Focus on Honoring the Newlyweds

End Your Toast Perfectly: A Fitting Finale to Your Wedding Speech

Concluding your wedding speech with a toast is a time-honored tradition that adds a final touch of celebration and well-wishes to your heartfelt words. Here's how to craft a memorable toast that leaves the newlyweds and their guests uplifted and filled with joy:

1. Raise Your Glass: As you transition to the toast, raise your glass to the newlyweds to signal the beginning of this special moment. Encourage guests to join you in lifting their glasses in honor of the couple.

2. Express Your Wishes: Use this opportunity to express your sincere wishes for the couple's future happiness and love. Keep your message concise and heartfelt, focusing on the sentiments you shared earlier in your speech.

3. Share a Meaningful Quote or Blessing: Consider incorporating a meaningful quote, blessing, or sentiment that resonates with the couple's journey together. Whether it's a traditional wedding blessing, a favorite quote, or a personal message, choose words that reflect the couple's love and commitment.

4. Invite Guests to Join You: After delivering your toast, invite guests to join you in toasting the newlyweds. Encourage everyone to raise their glasses and offer their own words of love and congratulations to the couple.

5. End on a Positive Note: Conclude your toast with a positive note, reaffirming your support and best wishes for the couple as they embark on this new chapter of their lives together. Your final words should leave a lasting impression of love, joy, and celebration.

Example Toast:

"To [Couple's Names], may your love continue to grow stronger with each passing day, and may your journey together be filled with laughter, joy, and endless adventures. Here's to a lifetime of love, happiness, and cherished memories. Cheers!"

By ending your wedding speech with a heartfelt toast, you create a memorable moment that celebrates the love and happiness of the newlyweds and brings everyone together in a spirit of joy and camaraderie. Cheers to love, laughter, and happily ever after!

Key Takeaway:

Rock your wedding speech by keeping it heartfelt, brief, and true to you. Share personal stories that show, not just tell, why the couple is special. Keep it clean for all guests and end with a toast everyone can raise their glass to.

Conclusion

Delivering a memorable wedding speech is all about speaking from the heart, keeping it concise, and adding a dash of humor. By following these tips on what to say at a wedding speech, you'll be well on your way to creating a speech that will have the newlyweds and their guests smiling, laughing, and maybe even shedding a tear or two.

This is it – your chance to give a big shoutout to our favorite couple and throw all your love and blessings their way for married life ahead. So, take a deep breath, raise your glass, and let your words flow. You've got this!

Katie Jenkins